This article is yet another confirmation about the significance and severity of the problem of conflict within the church. The perspective in this article is positive and provides some worthwhile guidance witnesses can employ in their fulfillment of Christ’s counsel on how to deal with conflict among believers, but falls a little short.
The article begins with a refreshing honest look at how churches are in denial regarding conflict.
Conflict consultant Tim Dyer is quoted saying, “…Christians feel they should be the most peaceful community on earth, which creates an atmosphere of denial.” and “[This] tempts organisations to not acknowledge that conflict has actually taken place. And so very often it is forced underground by the fact that nobody wants to face the reality that we’re struggling to get along together. So for that reason, the church in my experience, is highly prone to conflict.”
So plainly stated yet so thoroughly denied by church leaders and members.
While this article begins with clarity regarding the problem it falls short in a helpful solution. Christians are defined by their belief in Jesus (John 3:18) and Jesus has provided extremely clear instruction on the topic of conflict between believers but this article doesn’t even mention the most pertinent counsel given by Jesus on this topic as found in Matthew 18.
The guidance given in this article referred to as “the 4 G’s” is good counsel and supported by Scripture, but Scripture doesn’t stop there. Jesus tells us how to deal with conflict and His counsel does not suggest that restored relationship is the only viable outcome of following His commands. Jesus knows that some of us are not truly converted and will not submit to the rebukes of the church body. Jesus does want us to be restored in relationship if possible and that is the first objective to be sought. However, Jesus clearly recognizes that when one or more parties to the conflict refuse to be restored that the whole church body is adversely affected which is why the conclusion to the instruction of Jesus is to separate from the unrepentant party. Separating in this context is to be removed from the church body. Jesus knows that His love and grace is limited by our refusal to accept it and if we do not submit to a genuinely repentant lifestyle as a faithful believer that we cannot represent His message to the world. Conflict among believers must either be resolved in restored relationship OR must be rebuked and put out of the church body. The 4 G’s in this article fail to include the full counsel of Jesus which is tantamount to re-writing the Bible. The author(s) may not be in disagreement on this point, but the article as written simply didn’t address the full counsel of Jesus which leaves readers potentially misguided thinking that restoration of relationship is the only viable outcome.
The article also refers to another organization concerned about conflict in the church, Peacewise.org.au, and lists the four major steps they promote* for conflict resolution.The fourth step, Decision-making mechanism, is given in the article as follows:
[* A quick look at Peacewise’s website failed to locate this list of steps. It’s not clear if this is actually what Peacewise promotes or if it is an interpretation of the editor of the subject article.]
Decision-making mechanism: “Now you need to use an appropriate, organisational decision-making process to reach the right decision. So in some churches, that’s a vote, or maybe the elders make the decision, or in other churches it might be the senior pastor who makes that decision. And then however that decision has been made, it needs to be made carefully and those people who are affected by the decision need to be cared for as a result.”
This step on the surface seems sensible, but when compared with the counsel of Jesus in Matthew 18 it doesn’t line up with what Jesus says we should do. Jesus prescribes how churches are to apply the decision-making process and His counsel never gives authorization for a sub-group of the church outside of the directly conflicted believers to have any decision-making authority. The decision-making authority is at all times in the hands of the conflicted parties to reconcile with each other and only when that has failed is the church to have any decision-making authority and it is the whole church – not the elders, not the pastor, not the board, and not some denominational representative. Each member in the local church has the authority and duty to function in these matters.
As Christians, we follow Christ as the head of the church and He has given us instruction on how to deal with conflict resolution. When we deviate from the instruction given by Jesus in the Bible we aren’t following Jesus. We are following the traditions of men and our own understanding when we fail to follow what Jesus has commanded that we do. That is using the name of God in vain. No matter how well intentioned the traditions of men may sound, if they don’t agree with the Word of God we are not to follow them.
Churches have found themselves in the weeds regarding conflict among believers because Christians haven’t been faithfully obeying God’s Word. We can’t fix the problem of not obeying God’s Word with new ways of not following God’s Word.
(Matthew 22:36-38) 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. (John 14:15) 15 “If you love me, keep my commands.